Monday, March 31, 2014

Talkin' baseball

Two things: one, happy baseball opener my fellow Twins fans! Two, somewhat related...the Metrodome, she is no more. And I for one could not be happier! I mean, don't get me wrong, I have a lot of memories there. Remember the Blaine vs. Eden Prarie Prep Bowl in 1996? Since I was in flagline (yeah I was and still am a nerd, cram it) I got to march during halftime! I learned very quickly that marching on squishy Astroturf is incredibly awkward. Later on I learned the hard way what a two point conversion was! Eden Prairie won, all thanks to Johnny Moxon. Or was that Varsity Blues?

I could wax nostalgic about all the Twins, Gophers, and Vikings games I attended over the years in that big inflatable bounce house. The highs (Blair Walsh kicks a field goal to beat the Packers and move on to the playoffs)! The lows (remember when the Hawkeyes beat the Gophers 55-0? Yeah, we drank a LOT that afternoon)! The middles (a work outing when I was at Piper wherein I tried to keep up drinking with my male colleagues, failed, and wound up drunkenly slapping a co-worker on the ass right in front of our boss) (might be more of a low) (sorry Mom and Dad)! And while I will fondly remember having cocktails and smokes in the Maroon Saloon, I will remember the food with a small amount of disgust.

Maybe it's because Target Field's food is so magnificent, it makes a Dome dog seem like a redheaded stepchild. Let me go on a bit of a sidebar here - Target Field in and of itself is simply magnificent. The first time I brought my mom there I thought she'd died and gone to heaven. And that was before she learned she could eat her way around the park! We went to Hrbek's first for some good old fashioned fried food. (Fun fact - Herbie and I share a birthday! He was celebrating at Tiger Sushi of all places when the fam and I went there for my 30th. Did not picture him to be a sashimi kind of fella.) We got the walleye bites, and honest to blog they were the best I've ever had! I have dreams about them sometimes (not really). They use an aioli instead of a traditional dipping sauce and I would drink it if they gave me a straw (again, not really).

The other massive improvement is the nachos. First of all, you can get them in a helmet! Isn't that so much cooler than a sad little bag of tortilla chips and that radioactive looking cheese sauce? Not to mention, there are actual toppings! I don't expect to get authentic Mexican cuisine with my $8 beer or anything, but jalapenos and chips are not nachos in my opinion. Gimme beans and cheese and beef and an ice cream scoop sized dollop of good old sour cream on top. Then when you're done, you can be a dork like my friend Rick who once washed out the helmet and wore it over his hat on the way out of the game (sorry ladies, he's taken and she can beat you up). Whimsy!

One more win for Target Field - the Vincent Burger. I'd write more about that but I risk drooling into my keyboard so much it shorts out and I don't feel like being electrocuted today.

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